Kennedyisms

[As I was getting ready for work one morning]
K: Mom, you don't look very pretty, yet.
M: Oh really? Why do you say that?
K: Because you don't have enough make-up on.



K: Mom- what is your brother's name?
M: Brandon.
K: No. Your other brother.
M: Matt and John.
K: No. Your OTHER brother.
M: ...um...Bryan?...
K: No. Jesus!! Jesus is your brother!
..... Hey, dad?
D: Yes?
K: You're in luck. Jesus is your brother, too!!

Weekend update...and Kennedyisms.

At Kennedy's school they had a Christmas concert. She has been singing Christmas songs all around the house and it has been highly entertaining. And very cute.

Here she is singing as one of Santa's elves.


She then turns the hat around and magically becomes a reindeer with a red nose. Adorable.

She did such a good job that I rewarded her with what every woman wants:


(Now don't be fooled by the appearance of my generosity. I only gave her the spatula - I licked the entire bowl.)

And in turn, she was kind enough to share a few Kennedyisms with me, which I will now share with you:

[after fixing a broken guitar]
Dad: Who's the man!??
K: You. And who's the little kid??!?


K: I want a different name. I want to change it.
M: Really? What would you like to change it to?
Dad: Matilda?...
K: YES! Matilda! I want you guys to call me Matilda, now.


[I was talking on the phone and she heard me say something about "Texas"]
K: Hey! I know what Texas is! It's where squirrels live!!
(On "Spongebob" there is a squirrel who is from Texas...)


Alright, on with the updates of my electrifying life.

Saturday night we went to an "ugly sweater party." Justin amiably picked them out for us:

Justin looked like Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber, and I looked like a relief society president (or, as my brother would say, "re-LEAF" society...).

We also had a white elephant gift exchange, and Chris won the present that we brought:

Yes, my friends. It even comes with a mustache.

Kennedyisms

Let me begin by telling you all that I am just royally screwed. Kennedy came home from school yesterday and announced "Mom- I have a boyfriend. His name is Britain." Ugh. She had been in school for a mere 3 days. THREE days. That is hardly enough time to cultivate a relationship. I seriously hope this isn't a forecast for the future.

Anyway. Moving on...


At the mall, I told her she couldn't ride on one of those quarter-machine rides because I didn't have any change.
K: Mom, next time you go to work, make sure to get lots of money so I can go on aaaalll of those rides that need quarters, k?


K: Hey dad, cheetahs don't run.
D: Oh yeah they do! They're one of the fastest animals in the world!
K: Nuh-uh. They can't run.
D: Um... yes, they truly can, honey.
Mom: Well if they don't run, what do they do?
K: [thinks for a minute] People can eat them.
M: Uh... cheetahs run a lot faster than people.
K: OR we can step on them. And crush them.
M: .... honey, what do you think a cheetah is?
K: ... OH!!! Ok. I know. Not a cheetah. A Cheeto. Cheetos can't run.


We told her that if she didn't finish her dinner, she couldn't have ice cream when we went out later. She didn't finish it. So Justin and I bought some for ourselves.
K: Harley [our dog], can you even believe that our parents didn't get me any ice cream!?? Huh, sister??

Kennedyisms

Stupid laundry fairy never showed up. So I ended up having to do all of it myself. Lame, huh?

Whatevs. Anyway, here are the latest Kennedyisms. As promised.

[Background: I had made her dinner and she didn't want to eat it. Her choices were to eat it now, or go to bed and eat it in the morning. She wouldn't choose so I told her she'd have to eat it in the morning. As I was carrying her to bed, this was her cry:]
K: I'M DOOMED!!!
A: ... you're doomed?
K: *sob* *sniff* Yes!! *sniff* I'm... DOOOOOOMED!!


"Boogers just keep growing in my nose. That means I gotta pick 'em!"

[Getting ready to show me a new dress]:
K: This will freakin' KNOCK your FEET off!!


A: Grandma Alli is going to come sleep at our new house.
K: But she might be afraid of our pet alligator.
A: Alligator?....
K: Yeah. We're going to get one for our new house. And it's going to have a baby.
A: I see. And where are they going to live?
K: In a fish tank. With our pet baby sharks.

"I am the princess of the United States!"

"I shrunk in the swamp of sadness" [as she throws herself dramatically to the floor]

K: I love you more than ice cream.
A: I love your more than Disneyland.
K: I love you more than Harley.
A: I love you more than flowers.
K: I love you more than ALLLLL the world.
A: Wow. That's a lot. I love you more than the universe.
K: I love you more than my bike. Well, no- I love you the same as my bike.


[She loves to make up songs to sing to me. Here is one she recently made up]:
"... Your nooose....is your favorite nose.... and your mouuuth.... has teeeeeth... and liiiiips.... and a uvula.... "

"When I turn into 35, I will be in charge of you! And taller than you!!"

Kennedyisms. And then some

K: My first name is princess Jasmine, my middle name is Gizelle, and my last name is Sleeping Beauty.
M: That's a beautiful name. What is my name?

K: Ashley.

"When we get a new house with a new backyard, we can build a CARNIVAL!! And all my friends can come. And yours, too. And we'll have a merry go round, a turning wheel and lots and lots of popcorn."

[As we were leaving my grandmother's house]

"I love those Barbies. Grandma just has such wonder, beautiful, amazing Barbies for all the kids to play with. And boy Barbies for the boys. Because they don't like girl Barbies."

K: I love all my cousins. And you love them too, right, dad?

D: Yes, I love them all.
K: And your daughter.

D: Yes, and my daughter.

K: Ouch.
M: What happened, babe?
K: When I pinch my bum it hurts.
M: ... I'm sorry... why did you pinch your bum?
K: [very matter-of-factly] To see if it would hurt.

... and then some...

My current emotions:

Anticipation:
-Justin only has 2 more months of school. Then graduation. Then Hawaii.

- In case you hadn't noticed my little countdown on my page, I only have about 8 days left until I leave for Hawaii... the first time.

Sorrow:
- I have a few friends who have lost their jobs. And it makes me sad.

Unsurprised:
- Kennedy took swimming lessons. She now will finally put her head under the water without screaming bloody murder. But only where she can reach the bottom and only if no one is touching her.

Excitement:
- My BFF Ashlee is engaged! Woo hoo!

- We just bought a house, today!
(And this is a picture of it. I am inviting all of you over for a beach party.)


Annoyed:
- All of the crap in my house won't seem to pack itself. I must have misplaced my magic wand.

Hopeful:
- I'm hoping that after this move, we won't have to move again for a freaking long time, since it appears to be a trend for us to move at least 1-2 times per year.

Tired:
- Do I really need an explanation for this one?

Kennedyisms

First off, let me say that I am quite proud of myself for blogging as often as I have been, lately, since that was, in fact, one of my non-resolutions. That being said, I really think it is the only one I've followed through with. Oh well. As is life.

On with the Kennedyisms:

"Mmmm. I'm so excited to eat my pizza. But I'm going to have to wait 'til it un-hots."


[The dialogue between her toys:]

Queen: [in a british accent] Daughtah! You ahh sitting next to a drahgon!!
Princess: Oh, it's ok, mother. He's a nice dragon.
Q: No, no, Drahgons ahh meeeeean!! AGHHH!
P: Ahh! Let's run away from him!
Q&P: Run, run, run.


[While we were at the the cesspool, aka Jungle Jim's, she met a boy - a cousin of a cousin - who was about 8 or 9. He went on all the rides with her and they had a blast together. Here is what she said to me as we were leaving:]

K: I wish I could see that boy again... I'm going to marry him.
M: Really? Wow. Well, he was a nice boy.
K: He is SOOOOO cute... Next time I see him at Jungle Jim's, I'll ask him what his name is.



K: [Humming my phone's ringtone- The Office theme] hmm..hmmm...
M: [pretending to answer my phone] Hello?
K: Hi, mom! I'm not home. I'm at Kaitlyn's house.
M: Well how fun! I miss you! When are you coming home?
K: I don't know... like maybe 15, 10, or 1,000, or maybe 6 minutes. We'll see. Ok bye. Love you.

Kennedy-isms. And then some. Warning: quite a bit of "some."

K: Can I have my barbie?
A: You have to say the magic word...
K: ... uh ...
A: It starts with a 'P.'
K: PIG!

While sitting in the back seat of our car, next to some of our friends, she turns to one of them (Austin) and says matter-of-factly:
"Sometimes we have to toot."

K: What is Santa bringing you for Christmas?
A: (realizing we didn't buy any mom/dad gifts from Santa) Um... Santa sometimes only brings presents to little kids.
K: Well what if Daddy wants a new yo-yo because his breaks? Or a flashlight? Or what if you want some new tights? Or a new dress??

K: Dad, say "guess what!"
J: Guess what.
K: Chicken's butt!! Haha!
J: That's pretty funny, Kennedy.
K: Yeah, my brain thought it and he's laughing.

...[And then some:]

So...Santa is now on MY naughty list, since he didn't give me even ONE thing on my list. We'll see if he gets milk and cookies, next year. Or maybe I will make them but I'll put ex-lax in them. Hm... Well, even though Santa fell short, we did get some cool presents from family, like games and awesome art work and moolah, which is always appreciated.

At least Santa made Kennedy very happy. Our house is now, thanks partly to him, chuck-full of Barbies and the many accessories that go with them. She has been playing with them pretty much non-stop since Thursday.

(Just ignore the barf-red-brown-orange-colored carpet... You know you're jealous.)
See how happy he made her? Ok, I guess I can't be TOO mad at him.


We had a fun Christmas. Santa, like I said, gave Kennedy some barbies (Barbie and the Diamond Castle Barbies), and the Barbie and the Diamond Castle movie, and then she was uber excited when we went to Nana and Papa's (aka Justin's folks) house that evening, because they gave her THE Barbie Diamond Castle castle. And the Barbie-Diamond-Castle horse and carriage. And the Barbie-Diamond-Castle prince and other princess. And a few more super cool things, as if that weren't enough.

And to make the night even MORE sensational, her boyfriend/fiance Jackson came over for a visit and brought over another barbie for her! These two kids are so in love with each other, it's not even funny. Ok, it kind of is. She tells me all the time that she's going to marry him. And that they're going to have 4 babies. I tell her she can't even think about getting married until she's 30. Maybe even 40. We'll see. But they sure look cute together, don't you think?

They had a play-date last week. Jackson's mom took them out to lunch and a movie, and then they were having so much fun that they had a sleep-over where they stayed up talking until midnight (what do 4 yr-olds possibly have to talk about??). And the next day, Jackson came to our house to play all day. They both sacrifice with each other in the boy/girl toys department- she'll play Transformers with him if they can play "House." She was the mommy Transformer and he was the little boy Transformer. Good compromising skills.

Ok, back to Christmas presents. My mother gave Kennedy a very awesome and unique present: a doorway puppet theater! Suh-weet, right? We've have had a lot of fun with it. Here is Kennedy putting a show on for me, with her barbies, of course.

The dialogue went something like this:
B1: Um, hello.
B2: Hi.
B1: How are you?
B2: I'm fine. How are you?
B1: Good. Do you wanna play with me?
B2: Sure!
B1: Ok. Let's go play!
B2: Ok.

I gave it two thumbs up and a standing ovation.

What did YOU get for Christmas?

Kennedy-isms

Back by popular demand, here are the Kennedyisms for the week!

Me: Kennedy, what color do blue and yellow make?
K: Green.
Grandma: Wow, Kennedy. How did you know that?
K: 'Cuz I'm amazing.

K: I'm excited that we're going to lunch with my school tomorrow.
Me: I am excited, too. Do you know where we're going?
K: Yup. Chuck-a-grandma.

K: Harley doesn't come to my class anymore.
Dad: Harley? Our dog?
K: No, Dad. Harley that walks on 2 legs.

[While shopping for a Christmas dress for Kennedy]
Gma: Kennedy, do you like this dress?
K: (*nodding*) I'm starting to cry because I love it so much.

Kennedy-isms

We had a very windy morning, today, as we were walking to our car:

Kennedy: Whoah! That's a lot of wind! I don't want to get blowed away.
Me: Oh I don't want to get blown away, either, but I don't think the wind is strong enough.
Kennedy: It's ok if you get blowed away, though, mom. You can just walk back.

Kennedy: Mom, can I have a gorilla bar?
Me: Sure, honey. So why do you think it's called a gorilla bar?
Kennedy: Because it has chocolate chips in it.
Me: ...and do those make it look like a gorilla?
Kennedy: Yep.
Me: Oh, I see. I actually think it's called a "granola bar" because it's made out of granola.
Kennedy: Oh. [Pause] Daddy looks like a gorilla.

Me: Kennedy, you need to finish your pasta.
Kennedy: It's not pasta!! It's MA-CA-RO-NI. You're so silly, mom.